Distant Eye

So, you have come back.
Has it been twenty years?
You look as if it has been forty.

Gray hair ragged and tattered,
so thin I can see your skull;
Wasn’t it once blonde and beautiful?

Yes, I have a picture here,
it is now as wrinkled as you.
Time has not been kind, my old sweet dear.

“Can we be friends,
can’t you be nice, as you once were?”
Yes, we vowed always to be friends.

But I cannot be nice,
I must repay your betrayal
with shit from my tongue.

I told you then, way back then,
(when I was nice to you)
how much I deeply loved you.

You chose to ignore me then,
telling me instead,
“Do not love your friends.”

I asked myself, way back then,
who will I love,
if not a friend.

Find a stranger on the street,
take that stranger home
and fuck!

Never know who that person is,
or what ever can become,
all we know is fucking.

That is what I should have done.
I learned it well enough
just from watching you.

But I wanted more,
I wanted to be in love,
I wanted a dear sweet friend.

I wanted to share my hopes,
my thoughts, my dreams,
and you share yours with me.

I wanted to hold
the smooth skin of your hand,
walking together, exploring new land.

I wanted to know the taste of your lips,
the taste of your tongue,
and know the comfort of your sound.

I wanted to be inside of you,
and you inside of me,
separate, and together as one.

I wanted to know the warmth of your body,
fetal, asleep,
next to me at night.

Notice now here,
my old sweet dear,
I did not mention I wanted to fuck.

Yes, I wanted that too,
but that was not enough,
I only wanted your love.

So here you are,
you searched me out,
and found us in our old age.

What is it now, my old sweet dear,
have you worn them out,
those men who were not your friends?

Have you sucked them dry,
and fucked them dry,
and left them in their tears?

Did you break their hearts,
and break their minds,
and satisfy their pride?

Did you run away,
did you escape,
did you conquer your fear of love?

Is this why you have come to me?
Is this why you stand there?
I think by now I do not care.

It is too late to grow old together,
too late to learn how to love,
too late to watch the weather.

Go away, my old sweet dear,
leave me to my peace,
let me die with memories.

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