Paper Trail

I know your name, your age, and your address,
Your best friend and your sexual preference,
Who you dated in high school, and since then,
Much more do I know, yet we’ve never met.

Finding you out was easy,
It only took me one day;
I know you’ll think this is sleazy,
But your license plate gave you away.

I see you bought new shiny trinkets,
Baubles for your neck and ears;
This data flows like a leaky faucet
When you say “Charge It” at your favorite Sears.

. You owe fourteen more payments on your car,
The transmission’s been overhauled twice;
You’ve driven that auto way too far
To get a trade-in on something that’s nice.

I know what you said to Billy, your friend,
And claim it was all said in a rage,
Billy laughed last in the courts, in the end,
And you not only owe him, but the state.

You’ve claimed two deductions that don’t exist,
And gotten away with it for years;
You better hope and pray the IRS
Isn’t as thorough as I am, my dear.

Face it, your life is an open book,
So easy to read if anyone looks;
You’re better to learn how to barter and cash,
Than leave a paper trail that lasts, and lasts.

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